“Oh Diane, I almost forgot. Got to find out what kind of trees these are. They’re really something.” — Agent Cooper (at Snoqualmie Falls)
PRISM, Obama, and You.
Here’s what we know:
Obama went back in time and created a program called PRISM sometime between 9/11 (2001) and his election 11/04 (2008). What is PRISM you ask? PRISM is a top secret program that allows him to read all of your emails (and gChats), browse your Facebook and Youtube comments (but he didn’t think Twitter would survive the fail whale disasters of 2006-2008), and even access your once unhackable Apple iMessage (the “DEA’s worst nightmare”) messages.
Yes, that happy black man pictured above did all of this so that he could laugh at all of you. That time you got too drunk and accidentally the whole thing? He knows about that. The secret Youtube account you have to set an all-time new low standard for grammar within video comments? He knows about that too. What about that time you bailed on your sister, lied to her, and then made new plans with your best friend? Yep, he already read that last year. He knows everything. Everything.
But here’s the real question: if he knows everything and if Obama had time travel before his election, why didn’t he go into the future to see that Twitter was going to make it big?
The following keywords have been provided by the NSA to boost this site’s SEO rankings:
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Full disclosure: I own stock in the NSA.
Bastille - Laura Palmer (RAC Remix)
Yet another example of RAC producing a better track than the original.
My favorite new song for the car. My favorite new song for the gym. My favorite new song.
“now I miss California almost as much I miss you, but why would I want to live somewhere where the bars close at 2?”Played 0 times.
Daft Punk photographed by Hedi Slimane for Saint Laurent Paris
The Creators Project: Creating the World of “Oblivion”